Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ... I sent it anyways.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
Last year in college football Alabama beat Arkansas, Tennessee, and Auburn. Those teams coaches all resigned. Any chance of Alabama playing agsinst the White House this year?
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
Diet plan: make friends fatter
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Car sex is not fun...that tailpipe BURNS
Rescue helicopters should have white lights at the end of their blade so when they spin it looks a halo.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
I wish Facebook would notify me when people deleted me, that way I could like it
If only my goals were to be poor, lazy and out of shape.
Procrastination: when "make a bucket list" is on your bucket list.