Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don’t like, I just say “oh yeah, that’s where that really cute girl works”. Problem solved.
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
It`s not so much that I have to work that bothers me...oh wait, yes it is.
I just walked by an old man who kept saying, “One, three, five, seven, nine… one, three, five, seven, nine…” I thought, “How odd.”
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, I’m really disappointed with Bill Gates.
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
Apparently, the average person looks at their phone 150 times a day. Not me. I look at it just once. For about 12 hours.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis