Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
there is a big difference between spray tanned and looking like you rolled in nacho chesse doritos.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a sh!t?
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
eHarmony should be more like Amazon “customers who slept with Tina172 also slept with LuvinLife_83, TaintMisbehavin, and Cat_Lover03?.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!