Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
Love is like hearing your favorite song for the first time. Then listening to it over and over again till you hate that song.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
Look, if your cart is in the middle of the aisle and I need to get by, then yes, this is bumper cars.
Hey! Did any of you see my........ Oh ! Never mind... :D How much of you said that before? heee heee hee!
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
I wonder if anyone has watched Storage Wars and said, "Hey, that`s my stuff!"?
So far,,, I`ve spent 300% of this week exaggerating.
Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.