Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is, intelligent men don’t get into relationships.
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
Coffee : Starter fluid for the morning impaired.
When cleaning my house: 1% Cleaning 30% Complaining 69% Playing with stuffs that I just found.
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
Dentists need cooler sh!t on their ceilings.
I’m a lonely Status. I wish more people liked me.
Yet another advantage of being single. All I bring to Thanksgiving is empty Tupperware...
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
Give a man a fish & he`ll be all "WTF are you giving me a fish for? That`s weird" Teach a man to fish & he`ll be all "Again with the fish?"