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Where do suicide bombers go when they die? Everywhere.
one of the Olsen twins got married earlier today! when the fiance was asked "which one???" he replied "who cares???"
If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
I think the guy who invented the word kumquats should have gotten to name more stuff!
Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn`t want to go to the store...
Soup of the day: Beer
Old enough to know better, young enough to take a dare...
Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed the first time.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
What if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
No one will ever look at you the way I do ... But thats probably because no one will ever do it from the tree outside your window