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The best nicknames are the ones people don`t know they have.
Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
Was born with a rare condition called "Amazing"
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
How will you survive a zombie apocalypse if you scream & run when you see a spider?
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
PRO TIP: Date someone who doesn`t drink vodka so she won`t drink all of yours.
I wish the Microsoft Paperclip would just pop up when Iām making a questionable decision for my life.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iām talking about.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don`t have to share.
I need u to do me a favor... Stand in front of my car please... I need to test my brakes :)
It`s hard to be a good person when kids fit so perfectly into trash cans.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.