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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
I`m a spontaneous procrastinator
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
Shout out to bees, willing to kill themselves just to inconvenience a hater.
Those who stir the sh!t pot should have to lick the spoon.
It`s almost 2014, I expect a toaster that pops the bread up in a less terrifying way.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
I’ve finally decided to do something about my weight ... Lie.
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.