Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Would a transformer buy life insurance or car insurance?
My new bumper sticker ... "Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Mothers never really understand the irony of calling their children "come here you son of a bitch"
Life gets a lot easier once you decide to become part of the problem.
Police officer: Ma`am do you know why I pulled you over? Me: I`m just as confused as you are.
I started to compliment my neighbors on their new wallpaper but then I realized they can`t hear me through binoculars.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
Now that there is no FBI director we can finally make copies of VHS tapes
It’s a status….not your diary…
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Beer never asks me if I think another beer is prettier than it.
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I`m not sure what it means.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.