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Oh no! I have to enter my date of birth to view this explicit content! Damn this internet security!
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
Teens are always full of energy until someone says the words "clean up".
I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
A bachelor party is a lot more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
I probably shouldn’t have driven home from the bar last night ... Especially as I walked there in the first place.
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
I accidentally did yoga once when I couldn`t reach the toilet paper.
Arguing in sign language must be a workout.