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Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that can`t remember the lyrics.
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.
I`ll never forget the first time I saw a dry erase board, "Wow" I thought, "that`s remarkable"
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
I’m an organ donor, but I’m pretty sure all they’re going to use is my liver for “after” photos.
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.