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Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
I can`t even tell what this thing in my fridge use to be.
Seeing a spider isn`t a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider disappears.
I often wondered what it`d be like to be married to an idiot. I asked my wife and she said you get used to it after a while...
No pornhub I do not want to share this video with my friends & family on Facebook
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
It’s amazing what I’m able to get done when I need to do something else.
It`s funny how as you get older you relate more to the villains in Disney than the Princesses.
Women.Some men undermine, disrespect and consider them weak,forgeting the countless spanks they got from their mothers
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
Note to self: the wife does not want an `exercise pole`.