Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
Never let a medical procedure scare you. That`s what the bill is for.
You know you had a good night when your first call the next morning is from the bank making sure your card wasn’t stolen.
When people say, "You look familiar," i like to reply with, "Do you watch porn?"
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
It’s people that give drinking a bad name.
On a scale from 0 to insane I`m batman
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
I Don`t Care If you Don`t Like Me .. Iam Not A Facebook Status :D