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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
I hate it when I put on my apple bottom jeans and cannot find my boots with da fur!!
Night people could take over the world if we weren’t so busy finding something good on TV.
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
Wow! Sit-Downs are way easier than Sit-Ups!
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
The monent of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?