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I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
How big does a cupcake have to be before it`s just a cake?
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
This Tequila tastes like an afternoon of fun and bad decisions.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
If I was gonna make a bomb, I`d use the same color wire for the whole thing.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Office Tip: In a pinch a booger and a small piece of copy paper is as good as a post it note.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
If booze isn`t the answer, then your question sucks.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?