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I think it`s safe to say that my 2 year old is definitely more excited to see the fire truck next door than my neighbor.
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
loves driving down the road and just waving at random people like you know them!:D
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
If you were a cookie, you’d be a whoreo.
If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...