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Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
This town has more white trash in it than a dumpster behind a paper plate factory
If you run into someone you know and they say "we should hang out sometime", say "I`m ready to hang out now" and watch them panic.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
did you notice when you yell "yo ugly" about 10 people turn around
Hmmm… Who should I stalk on Facebook now? :)
Never compliment a woman on her sideburns ... no matter how magnificent they look.
I might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery the odds are about the same
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
Why don`t family members send me money for my birthday anymore? I need it now more than when I was 7
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.