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Jerry: Tom, you are a genius!.. Tom: Yeah, I am called that a lot... Jerry: What? Genius?... Tom: No, `Tom`
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
I wonder if Batman knows that other cities have crime, too.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Dear Fork, I understand that we haven`t spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
Posting inspirational quotes online is the first sign to depression.
Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.