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Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
When my boss says, "women of a certain age" then looks at me, it`s ok to stab her with a letter opener, right?
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I`m seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe.
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
Day 1. I am thankful that I haven`t fallen into the trap of Facebook thankful status updates.
11th Commandment: Thou shall not gossip about other people’s lives when you are not doing any better yourself.
I just ate Pasta and Anti-Pasta, but they annihilated each other, now I am hungry again.......
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.