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What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
Let`s all play a game: For every political post, you must post 5 non political posts. #makefacebookhappyagain
You are here: X
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
The problem with the general public is that it`s made of people.
Drink till she´s cute, but stop before the wedding
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
Save water, shower together.