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They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
Next time I get a bunch of, "likes," on a comment I post on someones status/photo etc.. Im gonna edit my comment and change the whole comment to, "like this status if you would f*ck your father." Just to make anyone else who reads it from then on think ill about the people who liked it. ™
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don`t think of until too late
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
The word "Saturday" has "turd" in it. Good luck trying to ignore that for the rest of your life, starting now.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to text you a graphic description of my explosive diarrhea. Stupid autocorrect.
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.