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I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
The closest I got to a 4.0 at university… was my blood alcohol level!
Is "blowjob" one word or two words? God I hate writing thank you cards. -Bfanch
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Commercials led me to believe that changing shampoos would have a much bigger effect on my life.
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
The bears had it right choosing to hibernate all winter.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
I need to find new reward systems besides beer and chocolate.
Friends would describe me as classy, sassy and a bit smart-assy.
I wish college was 5 easy payments of $19.99
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!
Porn can be so misleading. I quit my pizza delivery job after two days.