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I like people. I just don`t want them talking to me. Or breathing near me. Or making me look up from my phone.
“Everything you say can and will be used against you” should be included in marriage vows.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods, a compass can help you get lost more North.
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
We have GPS that can navigate you across the country. Why can`t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses...
I think I bought just enough fireworks to get my neighbor to move.
My head hurts, I think my horns are coming in...
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
Waldo’s mom must be worried sick.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
Kinda hard to believe not a single mutant at professor Xavier’s school had the power to heal a dude’s legs.