Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.
I have this great midnight snack it`s called, what do I think my roommate won`t notice if I eat the edges off of
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
When I`m really bored at work I like to write "I`m watching you" on the toilet paper a few squares in just to mess with people.
Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.
I`d have a longer attention span if things weren`t so shiny.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
You mellennials and your obsession with public healthcare, back in my day we just died!
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.