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I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
Relationship status: I get the remote to myself!
I used to have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lived 150 miles away
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
Guns don`t kill people. Girls who get tagged in a photo before they get a chance to see it kill people.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
I think Tampax and Hershey`s should get together and offer a super pack....
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
So long pants! See you Monday!
Actually officer, I`d prefer to think that vodka smells like me.
Every time I`m about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up...
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...
How`d this get posted?