Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
I have a brilliant idea once every seven beers.
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
My friends are the kind that would flirt with the fireman while my house was burning down.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
The most impressive thing about how cowboys used to have showdowns at high noon is that they could get two people to be on time to something
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.