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Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
Google was first named, `BackRub`. If they hadn`t changed the name, we`d be saying, `I don`t know, go BackRub it.`
Sometimes I spend whole meetings wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
Its O.K. to laugh during sex … just don’t point ! ... trust me
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
Why would you live in a place where the air hurts your face?
Marriage. The world`s oldest form of identity theft.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers. "Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?" SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!!
Just once, I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where the female is like, "Aww, f*ck..."
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…
I know you’re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?