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I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
I`d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
The only thing I ever win playing McDonald’s Monopoly is 10 pounds.
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
Trix commercials just teach kids that sharing is bad.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.
Words of Wisdom: Don`t cover your mouth when you sneeze. You`ll get snot and stuff all over your hands