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They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
Step 1: Remove food from packaging. Step 2: Throw out packaging Step. 3: Dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time, Repeat steps 2 & 3 as necessary
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
People should be loved. Things should be used. Unfortunately, we have it backwards
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
Some people are like eye-candy... I`m more like eye-meatloaf.
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.