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eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it`s very good, When it`s bad...it`s still pretty good.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.