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There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
The pollen is so bad this year that the people in the trailer parks are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
Gym Update: Not there.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Do handjobs from girls who speak sign language count as blowjobs
You`re not laughing out loud. You know it and I know it
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
I hate it when my cat leaves a dead Smart Car on my doorstep.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
I went by the Gym today. Its the third time this week............. One of these day`s I might actually go in.
The reason I don`t play Scrabble online, is that I can`t throw the tiles at the person who beats me.
"kill it before it lays eggs" - is my standard suggestion to any problem