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Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Detroit and Chicago seem to be getting it right as of late. Limit all politicians to two terms. One in elected Office and one in prison.
My wife is pissed at me again...appearently I am breathing wrong.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they`re looking for ideas.
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
I have no interest in skydiving. I get enough of an adrenaline rush hoping my debit card goes through.
I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there`s no point in bothering with hash browns then.
True love is biting a slice of pizza when you`re fully aware that it will burn the roof of your mouth.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.