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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
Still waiting for a Discovery Channel "How It`s Made" episode on babies.
The loudest possible way to open a bag of chips is to try and do it quietly.
I saw that! - Karma
They should make an app that tells me how many Oreos I can eat for every mile I jog.
I drink because people talk.
I think...therefore, I am.....single
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in commercials.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
Seen it all, done it all, can´t remember most of it.
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
It`s called NASCAR because that`s the way a hillbilly pronounces "nice car"
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.