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Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be "YOUR" blood.
Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can...
I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
Apparently some strangers don’t need a hug.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
The fastest way to find out if your wife is just pretending to be asleep to avoid sex is to pick up her phone and start scrolling.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?