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It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
The Home Alone house is up for sale for 2.4 mil. I’d pay 2.5 (if I had it) just so I could say, “Keep the change you filthy animal.”
I drink to make other people interesting.
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you’re a terrible person and had it coming.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
Ate too much salad yesterday so I`m going on an Oreos cleanse today.
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
According to serving sizes tonight, I`m a family of 4.
There is no time to check time
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I`m interested...