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I just called. To say. I texted you.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Call me old fashioned but I prefer women with eyebrows made out of hair
"I really should buckle down and get my rap album going"-Me, every time I drink
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
I was struggling,trying to figure out how lightning works .....then it struck me!
Here walk a mile in my shoes. They`re giving me huge blisters.
I like playing with my dog when I`m high. Because I don`t have one when I`m sober.
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
tonights theme: grab somebody sexy tell them hey, give me everything tonight!
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
The beeping noise from microwave is always 100xās louder at night.
I`ve been having real problems with nuisance phone calls lately. The most common one seems to be "You said you`d be home from the bar three f*cking hours ago!"
I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and Iām still at work.