Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
I’m “had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn’t pick up and start dialing” years old.
I will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti! I just want a future archaeologist to have a great day!
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come into work.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Ladies, when it comes to doggy style.....I`m behind you 100%
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
How big does a cupcake have to be before it’s just a cake?
You would think with all the ice water laying all over the world, it would be a lot cooler...
How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead...
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.