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I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
What`s it called when it`s 9:20am and you can`t wait for dinner? Oh, it`s called fat. Nevermind.
I got a letter from my crush on Valentine`s Day. Well, technically it`s a restraining order but still....
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
Your so lazy you should have a Life Alert bracelet that says I`m Just Napping.
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Marriage...betting someone half your stuff you`ll love them forever.
The best way to get over someone is probably with your car
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
STD`s aren`t like pokémon, your not suppose to catch`em all!