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I hate when I accidentally say "I love you" instead of "I`m biologically driven to want to reproduce with you and I`m temporarily delusional."
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Why doesn’t a deli slicer just have a scale on it?
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
I swear if my memory gets any worse, i`ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice!
I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to be tall enough to reach the cookies.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
It takes patience to listen.., it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.