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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
I cant remember the last time i forgot something
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
I like to think I`m special, because the thought of idiots like me existing in large numbers is f*cking terrifying.
Where there`s a will I want to be in it
I stopped paying my car payments to concentrate on my dream of appearing on a Repo show.
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
People keep thinking that I care ... Wierd.
If you live up be 100, you should make up some fake reason why, just to mess with people… like claim you ate a pinecone every single day.
Cologne - because people shouldn`t have a choice whether or not they want to smell you.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.