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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
I hate it when you follow your dreams and wind up in a dumpster in the back ally of an IHOP.
I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look. That one is shaped like an idiot
I like my coffee like I like my women, hot and a lot of alcohol in them
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she stares at you.
I sometimes ask myself, "What would Jesus do?", and then I think, Jesus wouldn`t be caught up in this sh*t.
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting that you do.
When I found out my toaster wasn`t waterproof, I was shocked!
As an adult, Iām not eating nearly as much ice cream as 10 year old me thought I would.
Sunday morning = lazy lay in my bed and fart under my sheets all day :)
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
Iām always in a rush to get home so I can do absolutely nothing.
It`s really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches...