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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
I joined weight watchers last month, so far I lost 38 dollars...
I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
Shouldn`t there have been one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
There’s always that one person that catches you doing something weird.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
Just sneezed 8 times in a row and saw the entrance to Narnia for a split second.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a dictionary, and now I`m impecunious.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.