Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
One day, I`m gonna wait for the Wal-Mart greeter to go on a bathroom break, step in their place, and begin welcoming everyone to K-mart.
so, on a scale of one is to seven, which letter of the alphebet is your favourite colour?
I can`t believe that it`s almost the year 2014 and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
I used to care ... but I take a pill for that now.
I just read the words "untimely death" and thought, "Man, I hope my death is timely."
Big deal, Times Square, I drop the ball at least twice a week.
I scratch my a$$ way to much to chew my fingernails...
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
When people have cars as their profile picture I automatically presume they are a transformer.
"I want to marry a smart, rich, and beautiful woman. But I don`t feel like getting married 3 times." - Hesam Ebrahim
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is `funny and spontaneous`, yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it`s all pantic and screaming.