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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
When a woman asks you to guess her age, it`s like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons... They forgot to add Morons.
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
One thing I`ll never understand is alcohol free wine
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
Pretty nice opinion you got there. It`d be a shame if someone were to...not give a sh*t about it
Dear Carly Simon, Yes I am so vain that I do think that song is about me.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
The mailman just delivered an 8-track of Boz Skaggs Greatest Hits. I guess this fulfills my Columbia House obligation.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.