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I like candlelit dinners, long walks on the beach and hardcore pornography.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
just realised SATURDAY has the word TURD in it
My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks
Here`s hoping the wind at your back doesn`t come from the corned beef and cabbage you had for lunch. Happy St. Patrick`s Day!
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
God: Is there anything else you need Adam? Adam: yes I want a Sandwich! God: Ok let`s create eve.
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking
Sneezing when you pee is only recommended when you`re in a public toilet.