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I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
there are so many scams on the internet now...... Send me $19.95 an I`ll tell you how you can avoid them
Since my girlfriend has gotten pregnant alot has changed... Like my name, address and telephone number.
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
Career goal: Being successful enough to add bacon to my burger without asking how much more it costs.
Changing a whole text message just because you didn`t know how to spell one word?
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up... In 30 minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years?? no one can be sure
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Born free. Now, I’m expensive.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.
Being human is expensive and exhausting.