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What idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
With a great a$$ comes great responsibility!
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Snakes are terrifying because they can`t trip and fall over sh!t. No creature should possess such power.
I believe in love at first episode.
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
Mom: If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too? Me: If all parents used that same metaphor would you use it too?
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Would it be wrong to ask a one-eyed person if it really was "all fun and games" up to that point?
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?