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How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That’s it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations.
Sometimes my neighbors love my music so much that they invite the police to listen.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
My internet went down for about 5 minutes earlier....so I talked to my family.....they seem like nice people!
Drinking lots of beer and doing my taxes. So far the Government owes me 3.1 million. I love this Country!
"Memory foam pillow fights". That`s one fight you`ll never forget.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
A good example of mixed emotions would be finding a hundred dollar bill nailed to your tire.
I walked into SeaWorld with a fishing pole once. I gotta tell ya, those security guards can really run.
If you’re gonna keep being so attractive, I’m gonna need you to make out with me.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
Boyfriend: Why do you watch the Food Network it doesn’t make your cooking any better? Girlfriend: Why do you watch porn?
Shoplifting may be wrong in a general sense, but what if, for example, I`m bored of paying for things