Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in. Those inside are desperate to get out
How to tell if your wife is mad at you - Step 1. She is
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
If adult diapers are called Depends, then baby diapers should be called Definitely!!
I`m undecided about which pants to wear today...Smarty of Fancy?
I don`t have any skeletons in my closet because I bury my victims in the backyard!
I consider "Not Dishwasher Safe" to be more of a challenge than a warning.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
The real fountain of youth is to have a dirty mind and a naughty smile.
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
"you failed just as much as your dads condom."
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.