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www.amish.com. How did this happen?
The length of your "About me" section on Facebook is directly proportional to how annoying you are in real life.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
I`m changing my facebook username to NOBODY so that way when people post crappy posts, and i press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
There is no peer pressure like washing your hands because someone else walked into the bathroom.
Some things make you go hmm. Some things make you go ugh! I make you go "Did he really just say that?"
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
If I had a time machine, I`d just keep going back every 8-9 hours so I could sleep more.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
Boomerangs can be quite dangerous if you`ve got alzheimers.