Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
Unless your kid’s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell, well he actually told me to eat "less McDonalds" but I`m pretty sure I know what he meant.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
Knock knock Who`s there? Control Freak. Now you say "Control Freak who?"
I hate it when people hate me without even giving me a chance to give them a good reason to.
I don`t burn bridges. I just loosen the bolts a little bit each day.
Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color 8.
Maybe my mom was right all those years ago. Maybe I won`t be happy until someone loses an eye. Maybe that`s what`s been missing.
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.
To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
That prince in Sleeping Beauty doesn`t get enough credit for kissing someone who hadn`t brushed her teeth in forever.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.