Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
Girls love shoes… so if she throws one at you, you know she’s really pissed off.
Hi, it’s me. I can’t get to the phone right now, even though it’s right here in my hand.
I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
Light travels faster than sound.. That is why some people appear bright until they speak.
It`s only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realize that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
Make a random stranger`s day by walking up to them and saying "This isn`t real. You have to wake up"
It`s bigger on the inside..said no woman, ever!
The existence of the `snooze` button tells you everything you ever need to know about the human race.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
3 Things you need to know: Yes I Have. Yes I Can. Yes I will.
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
What do women want? The opposite of whatever they have.