Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to open the vodka is the smartest.
I just gave my ex a big hug which can only mean one thing. That`s right I have the flu and I love sharing.
When you go to buy fire insurance for your house, don`t tell them you need it by a certain date.
Gym Update: Not there.
I was going to write something profound and memorable here, but I can`t remember what it was.
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
Attention...my facebook page has been hacked. But everyone seems to like the new guy better, me too actually...so fvck it!
"Just so you know, you`re coming home with me tonight." I whisper to all the leftover food on the table from our dinner date.
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
i was sooo funny i cracked me off.......
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.