Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
“Hangover” makes it sounds like it’s all done now. I’d like to propose the term “hanghappening”.
Sometimes to much to drink is never enough
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Time is precious ... waste it wisely!
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
30 seconds left on the microwave ~ Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone ~ Men: do the space shuttle countdown
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
I lifted my hands up in the air and waved them like I just didn`t care.....Ceiling fan: 6 Me: 0
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.